Got your attention, didn’t I? However, I doubt this information will help you get laid. It may, however, help you talk about getting laid or not getting laid in a grammatically correct fashion.
1. In present tense, people lie down on the sofa, but lay a book on the table.
The overall rule is that if you are performing the action of lying, as in
Sarah W. lies down to take a nap after helping 35 old ladies find mystery stories with only a modicum of sex and violence.
or
Sarah W. lays her newest mystery story chock full of violence and sex on the table before she lies down for a nap.
2. The past tense is just there to confuse you.
Sarah W. lay down to take a nap yesterday after helping six surly teenagers find books about Chinese economics for their AP government class.
“Lay” is the past tense of “lie.”
Sarah W. laid a blanket between shelves PN 2371 and RC 183 in order to lie down and take a nap after leading story hour.
3. People get laid by other people.
You don’t get lied. Nope. You get laid. The reason for this is because the other person is “laying” you.
She got laid last night, and so she is disgustingly cheerful this morning.
Was that Sarah W.? I don’t know.
4. People lie around when they are feeling lazy.
I plan on lying around reading the book Sarah W. recommended.
but
Yesterday I just lay around and read the book Sarah W. recommended.
Damn you, past tense.
Does this answer all your questions?
It does! Thank you especially for the past tense version.
He laid me last night. Now there’s a sentence that needs to be spiced up a bit.
Yes it does!
You’ve answered all my questions very nicely, though others may have one or two for me, now . . .
Thanks for let me use your name.
If I were politer, I would have asked first. But what’s the fun in that?
Imagining the lift your stats are getting with that title.
Ah yes, you must be careful. I had a post once titled “Erections Lasting Longer Than 4 Hours.” I’ll let your imagination take it from there …..
Yes, thank you for the thorough education.