Modifiers aren’t the only things dangling here

Dear Independent Clause,

When faced with the challenge of leading a sentence with a dependent clause, I’m often hesitant. Contemplating the delicate nature of maintaining proper agreement between clauses, I take extra special care to do mine right. Some people don’t.

Here, for your perusal, is a quote from a leading journal in the field of faux post-secondary curriculum, BY THE EDITOR OF SAID LEADING JOURNAL.

Rather than constituting nudity-related objections to coed nude underwater basket-weaving, I presume that these critiques implicate a constellation of analyses that have not been sufficiently well-accomplished.

I, for one, am glad this editor does not constitute nudity-related objections to coed nude underwater basket-weaving. It’s a lousy way to live one’s life. Constituting things, I mean. Especially objections of the nudity-related kind

Also, I barely scraped by grokking that it’s the analyses that have not been sufficiently well-accomplished. This round has once again been won by passive voice.

Impatiently parsing garbled text and other dependent clauses, your faithful subordinate servant,

Careful Clause

Dear Careful Clause,

Your hesitancy is well-placed. Who knows what the editor of the Journal of Faux Post-Secondary Curriculum was smoking when she wrote this. It was not the essence of correct grammar, that is for sure. I commend you on doing some of the great work of editing; that is, addressing the dangling modifier. And the copyeditor of said journal should be made to bring me coffee twice a morning for a week.

Yours in solidarity,

Independent Clause

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