OK, poetry lovers, poetry haters, and the poetically indifferent, I am throwing down the glove and challenging you all to a bad poem contest.
The rules: Post the worst poem you can think of (either yours or someone else’s) in the comments or by email to yours truly (independent clause) at the gmail. It can be a Tennyson poem or a poem written by your Great Aunt Matilda under the influence of absinthe while she was a teenager. You could have made it up on the spot. I don’t fucking care; as long as you think it’s bad, I’ll read it.
Eligibility: All submitters and poets are eligible except the contest judge, so don’t find any of my poems and post them. (Anyway, that would be rude.) Multiple submissions encouraged.
Judging process: The poem that causes the greatest volume of coffee to be projected from my nasal cavity while reading will be the winner.
The prize?: A book by Shel Silverstein, Ogden Nash, or another comic genius of my choosing.
When does it start? Now.