OK, folks. Here’s the story. I’ve been to grad school. I know that the writer just wants to be loved. You show someone a piece of writing. You may say that you’re interested in criticism, but we all know you just want the other person to drop everything that he or she is doing and say “that was the best piece of writing I’ve ever read; you have changed my life.”
But that’s not how the world works. Wah, wah, wah, writing is hard. So today’s challenge is to post the worst sentence you’ve ever written. It can be in your “abandoned paragraphs” file or you can write it on the spot for me. The winner gets a secret prize. The judge, just might possibly be Cougar Clause, if I can get her to do it (C’mon, Cougar, please!). Let’s get the embarrassment out of the way. We all feel like frauds. We all suck sometimes. Once we get the giant magnitude of suckage out of our system, we can probably write something pretty awesome.
I’m not in the running, but just to show you how bad it can be, here is my worst sentence ever from the Fucker:
“She may have stayed up late at night unable to sleep, but as far as we knew she was right as rain.”
I think I died a little inside posting this to a public forum, even if I am anonymous. OK, my friends, don’t leave me hanging. Give me your worst fucking sentence ever, and ignore any typos herein; I am late for a meeting.