For over two years, readers have been turning to Fangs and Clause to discover what copyeditors really think. Drawn in by the brash and honest voice of Independent “Indy” Clause, readers have learned which dash you should actually use and have been cheered by Indy’s characteristic encouragement to “get the fuck off the Internet and write.” But will readers follow the beleaguered Indy through her first scandal?
Fangs and Clause has run contests before. Judged by “Cougar Clause,” a pseudonym for one of Indy’s older sisters (the total number of which could not be ascertained as of this writing) , the contests have covered terrible sentences, and good and terrible poetry. But the very integrity of these contests has been cast into doubt by a “Cub Clause.” In an ugly accusation, Cub claimed that Cougar entered the very contest that she was supposed to judge.
Who is this young Cub? Is she an investigative journalist looking to expose corruption at the very highest levels of a little-read blog? Is she, as rumors have suggested, Cougar’s very own daughter? Would one of the Clause family out one of their own in such a brazen matter?
“Well she knew that it was nepotism from the very start,” said Indy, reached at an undisclosed location. “I chose my own sister to judge the contest,” Indy added with a characteristic lack of apology. “It’s not like I was sleeping with the head of the CIA.”
It remains to be seen whether Indy’s public relations staff can handle the negative effects of the accusation. The head of media relations could not be reached as of this writing because he was busy chasing a stuffed hedgehog. In passing, he recommended a cold nose in the crotch.