What I hate about not writing

1. I’m just like every other poor schlub on the subway. When I’m writing, I walk around with a secret smile in my eye, as if I just had the best sex of my life. I feel smug and superior. I have this whole other world I’m tapped into. Maybe this is how heroin addicts feel.

2. The guilt just eats at me. I justify my whole fucking life by saying that I’m a writer, at least to myself. When I’m not writing, I realize that I’m just another overeducated selfish jerk.

3. I have no excuse not to do the dishes.

4. I get crabby. It’s as if I haven’t been laid in months.

5. Other people are writing.

6. When people ask me how my writing is going I have to say “Lalalala! How about those [sport’s team name redacted]?” And I don’t know jack shit about [sport].

What do you hate about not writing?

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4 responses to “What I hate about not writing

  1. The horrible feeling of wasting the time I have left on this earth by not producing something worth publishing (which is often paired with the terrible suspicion that I may have wasted the time I’ve had so far by assuming this is possible).

    Sorry. I’m in a mood, and I’m really hoping for a hit of your first item up there.

  2. Ditto to what Sarah W said.

    Not writing also gives me time to contemplate what it means when I’m able to say I need another poem for my book, and then write one in two hours and think it’s pretty much done. That thrills me initially, but makes me feel like a deluded idiot as time goes on.

    I’d love to be able to forget my own work sometimes. Reading it like a stranger would help me gauge the insipidness I hope to inflict on the masses. I guess most of us wish we could do that.

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