1. I’m just like every other poor schlub on the subway. When I’m writing, I walk around with a secret smile in my eye, as if I just had the best sex of my life. I feel smug and superior. I have this whole other world I’m tapped into. Maybe this is how heroin addicts feel.
2. The guilt just eats at me. I justify my whole fucking life by saying that I’m a writer, at least to myself. When I’m not writing, I realize that I’m just another overeducated selfish jerk.
3. I have no excuse not to do the dishes.
4. I get crabby. It’s as if I haven’t been laid in months.
5. Other people are writing.
6. When people ask me how my writing is going I have to say “Lalalala! How about those [sport’s team name redacted]?” And I don’t know jack shit about [sport].
What do you hate about not writing?