Confidence

I’m walking the thin line between confidence and possible catastrophic procrastination. I got through high school by being smart, creative, and not working too hard. College was a bit of a shock, but I learned to work some. I did the reading and then hoped to rely on native intelligence to get through the rest. Sometimes this worked better than other times.

I’m giving a presentation today in front a roomful of people. Ten years ago this prospect would make me (figuratively) shit my pants. Two years ago this prospect would have made me intensely nervous. Yesterday I threw some organized notes into a PowerPoint (first time I’ve ever used that), and read it over a couple of times.

I can’t decide whether this new yet familiar insouciance (I love that word, although I might be using it wrong) is a sign of maturity or mental illness (i.e., mild ADD and depression). I’ll let you know at 3 o’clock this afternoon.

What are you confident about?

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6 responses to “Confidence

  1. Today? Not much. Though as I was reading your first paragraph I was thinking about what it would say if I wrote it: I got through high school by getting high most mornings and barely getting Bs and Cs. I don’t recall ever studying, ever. I got the answers for every Spanish test from the class 3 hours before mine. My first semester in college I had a 1.8 GPA and cried during Meteorology class. I only read books I wanted to read so relied mostly on Cliff’s Notes for required reading. Sometimes this worked better than other times.

    That paragraph is so sadly true, it’s a wonder I went on to do anything.

  2. The first question I was asked as a professional librarian was, “What’s the capital of Illinois?” I’d just moved up there two days prior and had no idea. I also had no idea where the encyclopedia was . . . and I couldn’t get the text-only browser to work (dial up–seriously).

    But now, a decade and a half later, I’m confident that embarassment won’t kill me (even if I beg) and that I can find the answer, or the next step to it, given time–which I’m confident enough now to ask for, along with the patron’s patience.

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