Biting the Bullet, Drinking the Bulleit: Attending AWP for Cranks and Poets

Are any of you folks going to AWP? I’m sucking it up and attending it this year. If anyone wants to meet for drinks, I’ll be the one in mask. No, kidding, I’d love to meet you. But you might have to sign a confidentiality statement first. Let me know.

In honor of the bazillion-page AWP catalog, I’d like to suggest a contest:

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with the name and description of a conference panel that describes your writing life or work in progress. This is your chance to be funny, pretentious, truthful, and/or chock full of lies.

Submit below or by email (which is independentclause at the gmail). My favorite academic will judge (right, Cougar?). The winner gets swag that I’ve been promised at the AWP bookfair.


12 responses to “Biting the Bullet, Drinking the Bulleit: Attending AWP for Cranks and Poets

  1. Oh boy. I’ve spent the past two days writing back cover copy and shout lines. I think I’ve run out of pithy sayings. Also, “Prose and Verse Consubstantial: The New Mixed Form” — is the sort of thing I can’t even read without breaking out in hives. AWP is better off without me.

  2. I’m so bummed I’m going to miss tracking you down at AWP. Last year I chased down one of our fellow bloggers (whom I’d never met) through the bar and lobby. “Hey, Suzy! Is that you?! Suzy!!!!!!!!”

    See how lucky you are that I’ll be thousands of miles away….

  3. I wish I was going too even if just to meet you Indy. Next time, next time, If not there at a pub near one of us!

    How Many Trees Died to Write Your E-book: The Nasty Truth Behind Green Publishing

  4. Dr. Cougar is both honoured to be Indy’s favourite academic and is pleased to be the judge of this contest. She is in a particularly good position to do this, having just finished organising the [name redacted] panel (NRP) of the American [name redacted] Association’s (ANRA) Annual General Meeting, to be held in NY in [date redacted].

    Readers can read by the way Dr. Cougar spells ‘favorite’ that she lives outside of the fray, and actually doesn’t even know anything about the culture of the ANRA. This presented a few challenges to her organiser’s task (note further spelling variant). She was thinking, as she messed around with the ANRA on-line “panel organizer module,” and read the dozens of papers having nothing to do with NRP, that conferences aren’t really all they are made out to be.

    One should think of them as social events, or big parties, and focus mainly on what gown to wear. If I had a panel (not this one, which was assigned from on high) it would be called “wanna be my friend and help me get published? We could talk about stuff that you probably know more about than I do.”

    • The free shit you get at large conferences. I think it originally was a drug reference, but it’s still used a lot when talking about conferences. A positive correlation between conference goers and drug use has yet to be established.

  5. “Procrastination for Fun and no Profit Whatsoever”

    “Darwin’s Synopsis: How Agents and Editors Thin the Herd.”

    “What the &$^% Is It Called? Searching for Illusive Historical Terms When Wikipedia Lets You Down”

  6. Pingback: Keeping It in the Family: Nepotism and the Intricate Matrix Dialogue of Contests | Fangs and Clause

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