Gratitude

1. I’m fucking grateful that what people say on facebook they don’t say to my face.

2. I’m fucking grateful that you guys think it’s funny when I cuss and whine.

3. I’m fucking grateful that it snowed last night, because it hides the fact that we haven’t raked our leaves totally.

4. I’m fucking grateful that my brother-in-law always, always brings beer. And it’s always good. And he looks out for me.

5. I’m fucking grateful that my credit card was declined because of a fraud alert and not because they’ve discovered I’m a worthless deadbeat.

6. I’m fucking grateful that Louis is moving to Philly, because who has time to maintain friendships anyway? (No, it isn’t true, Louis. I’ll miss you, you jerk!)

7. I’m fucking grateful that no one but DP knows where I hide the good whiskey.

8. I’m fucking grateful that it’s the holidays and I don’t have to write because I have no fucking clue what I’m going to write next, and it’s not that freeing anything-is-possible feeling, but rather the shit-I’m-fucked-it’s-a-test-I-didn’t-study-for feeling.

9. I’m fucking grateful that I’m not the kind of person who has to have ten reasons to feel as if my list is worthwhile. Fuck you, numerical expectations.

C’mon. Show your bitterest gratitude.

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12 responses to “Gratitude

  1. I just got a haircut that was 3 months overdue, finished a really good book last night, and today I’m grocery shopping for comfort food ingredients.

    I’m so happy I can hardly stand it.

    • My haircut is also (exactly) three month overdue and is taking place today (why do they have to have a mirror right in my face? Do they expect me to look at my face, or what?).

      I am 2/3 of the way through the latest Booker (800 pages). I think I like it.

      And, I am going shopping for eleven.

      whoah! that’s a lot of coincidences.

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