What’s that I hear? It’s the melodious chorus of birds echoing over the frozen wasteland that is my yard. Poor birds, I’m surprised that haven’t frozen to death in the last few days. Clearly it is time to take a moment to reflect on what I’m grateful for during the last few moments of winter.
1. I’m fucking grateful I don’t live in [city redacted] and have to watch drunken post-St.-Patrick’s-Day-parade-victims vomit/pass out/pee on the public transportation system.
2. I’m fucking grateful that I had to deal with [difficult client] when I worked at [job redacted], because it prepared me for [current situation]. I know to take a deep breath before I answer my emails, and I know that you can’t argue with crazy.
3. I’m fucking grateful that it is cloudy again, because the sun causes skin cancer. Anyway, I should be making my deadlines and dealing with [current situation]. Why go outside and enjoy yourself when you can edit?
4. I’m grateful that my dishwasher has become the world’s most expensive drying rack. Washing dishes by hand really makes you think about technology and the future of civilization. Builds character, if not one’s marriage.
5. I’m fucking grateful for all of you, and I even mean it.
What are you grateful for?