Sweet Baby Jesus: Deciphering the AWP Catalogue to Find Panels that Don’t Make Me Want to Gouge My Eyes Out

Oh, yeah, it’s AWP time. It’s time to drag myself out to the place of my college sins, otherwise known as the Upper Midwest. It’s time to scan the faces of 10,000 writers to find a few friends. It’s time for snarky note taking during boring panels. DP and I are going and we’re going to schmooze our little hearts out. I’ve scheduled time with friends, noted panels given by people I know that I should attend out of loyalty, found some readings that I should definitely not miss, and if it is all too much I will go back to my little hotel room and write. When AWP was in Boston, there was sideways snow. Let’s see what Minnesota has on offer.

What are your tips for surviving conferences/travel/the Upper Midwest?

And don’t forget to enter my contest for best ever rejections!

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6 responses to “Sweet Baby Jesus: Deciphering the AWP Catalogue to Find Panels that Don’t Make Me Want to Gouge My Eyes Out

  1. I’m skipping this AWP this year, and I’m mostly bummed I won’t see YOU there!!

    For survival, I suggest the following:

    1. Sit in an end chair so you can escape easily if bored / angry / feeling ravenous or vicious.

    2. If Lidia Yuknavitch is on a panel, go and go early. She’s incredible and bold, and her adoring crowds are raucous. (same goes for Stephen Elliot and Nick Flynn *swoon*)

    3. Have a bourbon in the bar, for me. 😉

  2. I’m bummed that I can’t go. I’ve never been the AWP, so I can’t give you any advice there, but I’d bring an umbrella and waterproof shoes!

    • 1. You freaking Midwesterners can’t come and visit me because of pesky lives and families and jobs. Meh.
      2. Thank god you aren’t the AWP because I’d have to stop being friends with you because of sheer ridiculousness you inflict on my life. Wait…
      3. Rain is possibly better than sideways snow, but as I said above, meh.

      • 1. Or because we have to repair our cars so we can dive up and find after we’ve paid for everything that we can’t afford to go. Ironically.

        2. I believe what you meant to say is that encountering my particular brand of ridiculousness would be so overwhelmingly awe-inspiring that you’d offer to adopt me on the spot. It happens.

        3. Not when you have curly hair. My younger daughter has gone all over dandelion.

      • 1. Meh.
        2. Why, yes, if that’s what you want to believe.
        3. I beg to differ. Rain gives me the curly hair that I was meant to have rather than the half-flat half-curled monstrosity caused by sideways snow.

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