Elevator Speeches

In a world where Cougar forgot altogether that there was a contest run in her name

In a world inhabited by sisters who look so much alike perfect strangers have acknowledged that they could only be sisters 

In a world full of economic inequality, racism, and environmental degradation, one piddling copyeditor wastes her time running bogus contests

In a world where two Clauses look as if they were identical twins separated at birth (seventeen years apart), Cougar Clause travels from a place where it is winter to meet her sister in a place where it is summer (theoretically speaking) specifically to judge a contest about elevator speeches.

Around the dining room table we bow our heads, scrutinize the entries, and squabble about sentence structure. We weep. We weep for those who struggle and for those who rejoice, we weep for good elevator speeches and for bad ones. But we reward creativity.

And for Paul, whose elevator speech was about not having one, we say you are our winner. Send me [Indy] your address by carrier pigeon, and good things will come your way.

Ed note: This has nothing to do with the fact that Cougar is a runner and is ecstatic to learn that Paul is too.

Ed note II: No bourbon was sent as a bribe, much to Indy Clause’s disappointment.


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