All the Feels

You might think that Indy Clause, defender of the English language, would hate the phrase “all the feels” the way she hates the phrase “it made her emotional” (because there are millions of emotions, which one do you mean dammnit?). But there are days when even Indy has all the feels.

It was a beautiful, quiet weekend. Eighty degrees is the perfect Indy temperature, and I watched the sun set red behind the houses across the street, and felt as if I were in a cool version of the south. I had good things to read. I’ve been making progress on The Fucker. I had no barbecues to attend.

Today my sister decided it was a good day to tell me that my mother died 5 years ago today. My uncle is too sad about my father to tell me that one story another time. I’m going away next weekend to spend time with two of my oldest friends. My best friend is getting married soon. My tenth anniversary (dating)/fifth anniversary (wedding) is coming up. I’m back at better levels of gnome-slaying medicine.

DP and I have been doing some good thinking out loud about what it means to be white and how to confront racism. To quote DP, “It’s easy not to burn down churches,” but obviously that is not enough. What steps can we take? I talked to my third sister about whether or not it was okay for me to put a black lives matter pin on my bag. Third Sister is not always precise about her words, so when she said, “It’s like a convict reforming,” I got worried at first about the direction she was going in. But then I realized she meant that white people were the criminals and they were taking steps to reform their behavior. Third Sister knows a lot about reforming behavior. For reasons I don’t feel like explaining, I am amazed and feel incredibly lucky that Third Sister and I have such a good, easy relationship now.

All the feels, people!

What are you feeling?


4 responses to “All the Feels

  1. I’m feeling . . . adequate to the purpose (library) with a soupçon of annoyed (family) and a large dollop of cautious joy (wrote two new pages this morning).

    Is determination an emotion?

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