Gratitude List

Oh yeah, it’s been way too happy in these here parts. I woke up after a difficult evening to find out about mass shootings in San Bernadino. It’s time for a gratitude list.

1. I’m fucking grateful it’s the end of the semester, because I can no longer come up with meaningful class exercises. On Tuesday, I looked up from my wordiness exercise, and realized that we were all fucking bored, and gave an impromptu lecture on resume verbs.

1a. I’m fucking grateful that my students take classes on this subject and still didn’t know how to write a resume or cover letter. And I’m pretty sure it’s only partly their fault.

2. I’m fucking grateful that my own campus police is being militarized, because someone has got to keep the Canadian geese in order. Fucking things shit everywhere and then my dog rolls in it.

3. I’m fucking grateful for my shitty evening yesterday because complacency is the enemy of art.

4. I’m fucking grateful that my institution of higher education decided that hanging lights in trees and blaring Christmas carols from the student union was better than actual change such as paying adjuncts more, fighting rape culture, or funding a fucking GSA.

5. I’m fucking grateful my neighbors showed up in mass to protest an addition they hadn’t even seen plans for because otherwise I might think I was a smug happy suburbanite. I’m fucking grateful I can write that sentence to show what a bougie bastard I am when there are real fucking problems in the world. Fuck.

6. What are you grateful for?


6 responses to “Gratitude List

  1. I am fucking grateful you don’t pick up when I call because I didn’t really want to talk to you any way! Takes up too much time. Thanks for not answering.

    But pick up bloody next time, OK?

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