Marriage in a Nutshell

Indy: I think I’m going to have to divorce DP.

Cougar: Oh no! Why?

Indy: Well earlier today he told me I was doing the dishes wrong, and yet the man doesn’t do the dishes ever.

Cougar: Oh dear. Maybe you should make a sign saying, “My dishes, my rules?”

Indy: The problem was he was right. I shouldn’t have [extraordinarily minor dishwashing etiquette rule that has nothing to do with divorcable dishwashing offense of putting in a cast iron pan, which neither Indy Clause or her spouse would ever do. Maternal Clause, please stop rolling in your grave. I wash that pan of yours without soup and reoil it every single time. With olive oil. OK? OK?]

Cougar: Why do we need husbands when we have sisters?

Indy: I don’t know. [The sisters sit companionably on the phone for a moment.]

Cougar: Let me distract you from your marital problems by telling you about the new homemade pasta [thingie whatever].

Indy (interrupting): Wait!

Cougar: What?

Indy: I can’t divorce DP. Because when you come and visit you have to talk about homemade pasta together. I don’t care, but he will. He just [and the conversation devolved/evolved into a discussion of homemade pasta.]

It turns out that if you don’t want to divorce your spouse because you want him have a conversation with your favorite second oldest sister about homemade pasta at some point in the future, then you’re probably doing okay. Phew.

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5 responses to “Marriage in a Nutshell

  1. Marriage doing okay makes me smile.

    This reminded me of conversations with my little sister (when she was in college) about stuff no one but us would understand, even if they could hear both sides of the conversation. We communicated tons of information in sentence fragments peppered with words like ‘thingy’. We seem to be too old for that now. Neither of us understands anything anymore without having it spelled out. Twice. Or maybe we finally learned about parts of speech and sentence structure?

    • One of my mother’s favorite facts was that married couples only speak seven complete sentences to each other per day. She read it somewhere.

      She and Cougar use/used the word thingie. It is not my word!

      That’s interesting that your sister and you can’t talk that easily anymore. But I think when we were younger, Cougar and I couldn’t talk that easily either. Sisters are weird.

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