Gratitude List

Late August is a good time to reflect back upon the summer and think about all the shit you didn’t do, the writing that didn’t get done, the gorgeous days you were too depressed to appreciate, and how academia is full of windbags and nutjobs. Back to school, yay!

I’m fucking grateful that facebook acquaintances are getting published: “I’m so happy to be back in [big newspaper redacted] with my article about [whatever].”

I’m fucking grateful that I live in such a place of taciturnity and emotional reserve that when I directly wave to a neighbor in apology for my dog barking at her, she looks away. Talking and emoting takes precious energy one might need to stay warm.

I’m fucking grateful that I’m almost done with my book. No, really, I am.

I’m fucking grateful that should it ever see the light of day or at least the light of an agent’s eye, I’m going to have to go back in and revise the shit out of it. Again. Revision makes for a better book. (Kill me now.)

I’m fucking grateful that my pleas to take two vital steps to be teach a fall class are being ignored. Adjuncts should never have the security of knowing what they are doing ten days from now. Makes them complacent. Next thing you know they will be clamoring for benefits and a living wage.

What are you grateful for?




8 responses to “Gratitude List

  1. Currently m/l winning the battle with the monsters in my head, feeling good about a new story I’m working on, feeling good about the One-Match Fire stories coming together so well, feeling okay about my marathon training, feeling relieved that I’m no longer an adjunct. Jeez, I’m just about giddy with all of this positivity. Must rein it in!

  2. I’m fucking grateful for peppy rejection emails that encourage me to pay an entrance fee again next year so they can read something else from me that they won’t like and won’t critique. And I can’t tell them to shove the year’s subscription to their magazine, that they insist on torturing me with, because the one bone inside me that wasn’t horribly depressed before their email came, says don’t burn bridges.

    I’m so grateful to feel depressed and needy when other folks are busy getting ready for fall and squeezing experiences into what remains of summer. It’s the fucking best time not to be seen, right?

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