Last night I dreamt that a certain potter friend was over for Thanksgiving, which was going to be at my grandmother’s house. She suggested that we clean the living room (which was also the living room of the house I grew up in), but I wanted to finish my essay. Then I sent my BFF (a certain Latin teacher) off to buy wine for Thanksgiving.

What the hell was that about? A subtext was that both friends were at Thanksgiving last year and won’t be at Thanksgiving this year (sob). But really the main point was the tension between having someone tell me I could clean a room when I really just wanted to finish my essay. I am embarrassingly transparent.

[Note: Potter Friend would never tell me that I needed to clean my living room in real life.]

I had to temporarily give up my editing work due to a shitty schedule at Second Job. So I have extra time and less money. I’ve been working on an essay and exploring new projects. I’m excited to have the time to read and think. But it’s daunting. Am I doing enough? When is the next check coming in?

Seven agents down, 143 to go. I check my email obsessively, and last night I woke up to tell my spouse about Soylent. Why? Who the fuck knows.

What’s going on in your head?



6 responses to “Transparency

  1. What’s going on in my head? Well, the usual swirl of doubt, resentment, and anxiety about my life has been pushed aside by doubt, resentment, and anxiety about this little tour of the five Boroughs I’m undertaking. Funny about that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s