Gratitude List

I’m fucking grateful that my editing job has decided that “standard misusage” of the English language doesn’t need to be corrected. Because using “which” and “that” interchangeably has never changed the meaning of a sentence.

I’m fucking grateful that I quit Second Job, because who needs to go to awkward work parties with people you love very much and will no longer see on a weekly basis in less awkward situations.

I’m fucking grateful that my spouse is mad at me for legitimate reasons because as Tolstoy said happy families are boring. Lord knows one wouldn’t want to be boring.

I’m fucking grateful that half my facebook acquaintance is summering in Spain and the other half are having wild publishing success. They deserve to be happy.

I’m additionally grateful that acquaintance can be considered “is” and “are” in the same sentence. This is why all people need fucking copyeditors.

I’m fucking grateful that I had lunch with a friend where we talked about awkward work situations, which I made more awkward by not holding my tongue. At least I didn’t lie. (I don’t really know how to lie. This is why I’m a terrible employee.)

I’m fucking grateful that this blog is slightly anonymous so I don’t have to work on self-promotion to get jobs that I want because although I’m a pretty great editor/writing coach, I am a terrible fucking employee.

What are you grateful for?


3 responses to “Gratitude List

  1. I’m grateful for my mattress, I’m serious. I’m grateful for my husband (he cooks). That it’s not winter. That I finally decided to write a novel and the first draft is over halfway written. That there’s food and clean water in my house. For Netflix and the BBC. For Justin Trudeau. For you ;))

    • I’m grateful your too! Why do you have invisible friends if they’re not fucking blogging. Are they, Bobbi??

      And I’m fucking grateful you have a president who isn’t a fucking shit show. That must be fucking nice.

      Also, passive-aggressively swearing at a shrink is probably the most mature thing I’ve done all day. Mwah!

  2. I’m fucking grateful for all of the work that my husband is doing on the house/yard and my new witch hut even though he sometimes fucking resents us for how hard he’s working.

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