Keep up with all legally prescribed psychotropic medications.
Buy a cute notebook. Buy ten cute notebooks. Get a filthy (yet legal) stationery habit. Look at your beautiful pens and pencils and the trendy Japanese notebooks. They are begging to be used. Use them.
Read. Use your disdain for the shoddily written books to write your own. Use your inspiration to scrawl something new. No one gets better at writing without writing.
Start pondering your very complicated feelings about the word “Yankee” (or word of your choice).
Bribery. Self-loathing. Reward systems. Another cup of coffee.
Louise Erdrich writes in Blue Jay Dance about how she tied herself to the chair with a bathrobe belt. She could loosen it in case of emergency, but it kept her from bounding up before her executive function could stop her.
Get the fuck off the Internet. Oops, it’s now “internet.”
How do you get to the page?