I’m not a big fan of holidays. There are many reasons for this. I used to work in retail; my parents died and were sick, respectively, relatively early, so holidays were painful and hard; and I hate to be told how to feel.
I am not pagan, but I love the celebrating the solstices and the equinoxes. I observe storms, winds, and the historic cold happening in my neck of the woods (and across much of the country). The drama of an ordinary sunset comforts me, as do mountains and rivers and even the shadow of trees on the snow.
Today I greeted the morning with relief. I can get up and do some work. I can celebrate wildlife tracks across my snowy backyard. I don’t have to feel one way or another. And what about my poor spouse, robbed of any joy in his life? Well here’s how the conversation went.
Me: Hey, I looked at some stuff online to do for New Years’ Eve, but it’s mostly dancing. You hate dancing.
Me: There are no good concerts. Anything in the area involves dancing.
Me: And the restaurants are stupid expensive and will be full of people. You hate parties.
Me: There are fireworks in [nearby town redacted], but it’s going to be 9 below.
Him: [Look of despair] But we need to eat.
Me: Let’s just go to [our local go-to restaurant]. You won’t miss the whole New Years’ lalala?
Him: Hell no. I hate that shit.
And so we had burgers (with local grass-fed beef) and fries and drinks (me) and dessert (him). It was an ordinary dinner that we’ve had at our ordinary restaurant before.
Maybe this is middle age. I used to go dancing on New Years Eve with my best friend at whatever gay bar was near where we lived at the time. That was also super fun. But I married a man who hates to dance and she married a woman whose birthday is on the 30th. I can’t exactly be like, “Hey, can I borrow your wife and go dancing?” anymore. At least not on New Years.
Holidays: are you for or against?